New Year's Eve kissing choices list.

In order of likelihood.

1. my hand.
2. television screen while Hootenanny is on.
3. my cat.
4. family member.
5. my snake.
6. bottom of a beer glass.
7. lampost.
8. a man.

My resolution is either.

a) change the list.
b) not care about the list.

Dorian Gray film review in one sentence.

I tried to watch it, wondered why they'd massacred Wilde's plot and filled it with badly edited 'horror' effects, a painful script and some of the worst sex scenes I've ever seen, then turned it off.

Matlock Antiques & Collectibles.

Best shop ever. Over the years I've come across a shrunken head (fake?), a medieval chastity belt, various occult objects and the odd bit of vintage porn. They also have clothing, faded photographs, old cameras, gramophones... Or if you want, you can buy a nice flowery chair!

Teenage graveyard birthday party.

I held my fifteenth birthday party in the local graveyard, then used my incredible Photoshop skills to make it look about a hundred years old. At twenty-two, I look upon these days with fondness, humour and only a slight twinge of embarrassment.

And in my latter part of secondary school, when everyone really fancied Gareth Gates, I fancied Robert Smith. I still do a bit actually, but I don’t think anyone still fancies Gareth!

The Red Shoes.

Moira Shearer/Victoria Page's amazing face! Some stills I took from Scorsese's restored edition of 'The Red Shoes', a Powell and Pressburger film from 1948, with cinematography by Jack Cardiff.

It's pretty special I think; very dramatic, theatrical and like receiving a big Technicolor slap in the face. It has some sublime sequences and is well worth a watch, even if you hate ballet. Will let go some dodgy acting...but the whole (SPOILER) "you have to choose between being a loyal wife or pursuing your talent, else your husband will leave you and your shoes will try to kill you" thing didn't really do it for me.

Obviously an influence to films such as 'Singin' In The Rain', 'Moulin Rouge!', 'The Phantom of the Opera' and of course 'Black Swan'. Sometimes I really wish I were graceful enough to be able to dance.

The Smiths-mas.

Along with a lot of jumpers, chocolate and much-needed money, my parents got me some albums from The Cure, Echo & The Bunnymen and The Smiths for Christmas. I like them, but here are a few lyrics from my first listen through 'The World Won't Listen' that sounded particularly amusing ringing through a festive atmosphere.

"I never never want to go home, because I havn't got one anymore."

"And if I seem a little strange, well, that's because I am."

"Oh I can smile about it now, but at the time it was terrible."

"Two icy-cold hands conducting the way, it's the Eskimo blood in my veins."

And many others, oh Morrissey! I'm not slagging it off at all, they're actually some of the nicest presents I've ever had! Having a melancholy 80s Christmassy time.

I've also got 840 minutes of Tintin to watch and about a year's worth of LUSH.

Tech tragedy.

My laptop's disk drive has decided to no longer read DVDs. It now just wants to make very sad and unhealthy whirring, clicking, bloop blip sounds.

Oh. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE SIMS 2 AND WATCH MY TINTIN BOX SET CARRY ON LIVING NOW?!

I hope Santa brings me an external disk drive for Christmas.