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I'm also pretty active on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr (say hello!).
Hope you're all doing ok out there in Hell World.
Showing posts with label literature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label literature. Show all posts
Saturday, 2 May 2020
Writing Dump / Life Update
Because I like everything in its right place, here is all the stuff I’ve written over the last couple of years for Left Lion, Now Then and Reel Steel.
Funnily enough, I've got some time to work on my blog again. I now live in Sheffield, work in tech, and have a boyfriend who knows a lot about German.
I'm also pretty active on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr (say hello!).
Hope you're all doing ok out there in Hell World.
I'm also pretty active on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr (say hello!).
Hope you're all doing ok out there in Hell World.
Tuesday, 3 April 2018
Five (Left) Lions
Nottingham treasure LeftLion Magazine reaches its 100th issue this month! It's a must-read if you're in the city, and free to pick up from many a fine Notts establishment. I'm dead chuffed to have been doing a few articles for their website recently, here they all are if you fancy a gander...
1. Nottingham Writers' Studio to Host Joint Networking Event with Society of Authors
A little plug for our beloved Notts Writers' Studio, which is well worth a visit.
2. 10 Nottingham Watering Holes with Pub Sports and Games
I had so much fun researching for this (2-3 pubs per week for a month).
3. Art Review: Strike Site at Backlit
Review of an exhibition about the refugee crisis at indie gallery Backlit.
4. Fluent Females: Third Annual Women Say Stuff Event at Cafe Sobar
Write up of a female-led poetry event for International Women's Day.
5. Film Review: The Square
Getting bitter and preachy about the mad world of contemporary art.
1. Nottingham Writers' Studio to Host Joint Networking Event with Society of Authors
A little plug for our beloved Notts Writers' Studio, which is well worth a visit.
2. 10 Nottingham Watering Holes with Pub Sports and Games
I had so much fun researching for this (2-3 pubs per week for a month).
3. Art Review: Strike Site at Backlit
Review of an exhibition about the refugee crisis at indie gallery Backlit.
4. Fluent Females: Third Annual Women Say Stuff Event at Cafe Sobar
Write up of a female-led poetry event for International Women's Day.
5. Film Review: The Square
Getting bitter and preachy about the mad world of contemporary art.
 |
| Playing Ringing the Bull at Ye Olde Trip (plus mystery observer) |
Tuesday, 30 January 2018
Writing/everything is hard
So, “restarting my blog” went well, didn’t it?
I had a bit of a writing hiatus during December, but January feels better.
Had my first taste of publisher rejection before Christmas (wrote a short story back in October for an anthology, which was “borderline” but not quite right). The first in a long line of disappointments, which is half the fun of being A Writer.
Started another story about a manipulative priestess and a giant crab. One day a publisher will appreciate my talent and send me a limo pfffff.
Genuinely good; I won 1st prize for Flash Fiction and 2nd for Poetry in a competition at Nottingham Writer’s Studio. I am so proud of my wee trophy! The hardest thing for me is just getting started, so events are a great motivator.
I’ve got a couple of fun things to write for Left Lion too over the next month. I like to think stuff like this is my “real job”…
2018 resolutions are Fitter, Happier, More Productive. And get published (ha).
Monday, 27 November 2017
A Tale of Two Bookshops - Scarthin Books & Five Leaves
Not a review as such, but a CELEBRATION of two brilliant independent bookshops! If you’re in the area, why not give ‘em a visit?
Along with whole rooms dedicated to Art, Music, and Children, Scarthin’s is creative in its categorising. There used to be a shelf labelled “all of them witches” for their Wiccan/Occult section (which I adored as a teen goth), a shelf near the ceiling of “old books too beautiful to hide”, and an eye-openingly generous section on Cats. You will leave wanting a bigger house.
There’s a wee vegetarian café upstairs and loads of nooks and crannies to explore. Stay a couple of hours! Before the refurb, someone had stuck up a photo of an ambiguous object, asking what it was. I wrote “a weapon of mass destruction” and by my next visit “a real and present danger” had been added.
Book people are the best people, and Scarthin’s is always staffed by bright young things. I was looking at Chomsky’s latest offering and was told “he has written better books”, before being guided over to the epic Politics section.
The layout is dreamy too, having to duck and squeeze through all those old tomes. It would be a wonderful place to take a date; peering over each other’s shoulders and getting to know their taste (one of my first dates with my partner involved browsing films in CeX - a huge success). Scarthin Books is a Labyrinth, a Pandora’s Box, an Aladdin’s Cave. It is one of my fave places on earth.
Click here to visit the Scarthin Books website
Five Leaves attracts a radical yet very polite crowd, and the staff leave you alone. Somebody even apologised for having to walk around me, which is amazing as this never happens (I am small, meek and constantly apologising for my own existence). It’s a lovely place for an introvert to go when Nottingham city centre gets too much. I should probably buy something next time though!
Being a one-room shop, they have to be discerning - so you get the best of everything. This is a bookshop run by people who really appreciate knowledge and want to share it with you. It’s all killer and no filler. There are lots of interesting titles that I remember from English Lit and Performing Arts.
You’ll also notice pretty early on that it’s fabulously left-wing. If you’re fond of the phrase “Social Justice Warrior” or “Loony Left”, you may want to sod off sharpish. I enjoyed the choice of Corbyn books, colourful selection of cultures and worldviews, and indie publishers. Five Leaves’ heroes are your heroes. It’s a safe space, down to the noticeboard of therapy hotlines and yoga classes.
Click here to visit the Five Leaves website
Have you got a favourite bookshop near you?
Scarthin Books, Cromford, Derbyshire
If you love books, Scarthin’s will make you weep. This gem of a shop has three floors of books, old and new, stuffed into every corner. It has a rickety Harry Potter vibe - held up purely by stacks of books and magic. There was even a fundraiser to ensure it didn’t collapse. It’s now better (and safer) than ever.Along with whole rooms dedicated to Art, Music, and Children, Scarthin’s is creative in its categorising. There used to be a shelf labelled “all of them witches” for their Wiccan/Occult section (which I adored as a teen goth), a shelf near the ceiling of “old books too beautiful to hide”, and an eye-openingly generous section on Cats. You will leave wanting a bigger house.
There’s a wee vegetarian café upstairs and loads of nooks and crannies to explore. Stay a couple of hours! Before the refurb, someone had stuck up a photo of an ambiguous object, asking what it was. I wrote “a weapon of mass destruction” and by my next visit “a real and present danger” had been added.
Book people are the best people, and Scarthin’s is always staffed by bright young things. I was looking at Chomsky’s latest offering and was told “he has written better books”, before being guided over to the epic Politics section.
The layout is dreamy too, having to duck and squeeze through all those old tomes. It would be a wonderful place to take a date; peering over each other’s shoulders and getting to know their taste (one of my first dates with my partner involved browsing films in CeX - a huge success). Scarthin Books is a Labyrinth, a Pandora’s Box, an Aladdin’s Cave. It is one of my fave places on earth.
Click here to visit the Scarthin Books website
Five Leaves Bookshop, City Centre, Nottingham
I’ve only just visited this place, even though it’s been open a few years now. It sits up an alleyway off Market Square, near to not-quite-bookshop The Works. If Scarthin’s is an old wizard, Five Leaves is its younger and hipper cousin.Five Leaves attracts a radical yet very polite crowd, and the staff leave you alone. Somebody even apologised for having to walk around me, which is amazing as this never happens (I am small, meek and constantly apologising for my own existence). It’s a lovely place for an introvert to go when Nottingham city centre gets too much. I should probably buy something next time though!
Being a one-room shop, they have to be discerning - so you get the best of everything. This is a bookshop run by people who really appreciate knowledge and want to share it with you. It’s all killer and no filler. There are lots of interesting titles that I remember from English Lit and Performing Arts.
You’ll also notice pretty early on that it’s fabulously left-wing. If you’re fond of the phrase “Social Justice Warrior” or “Loony Left”, you may want to sod off sharpish. I enjoyed the choice of Corbyn books, colourful selection of cultures and worldviews, and indie publishers. Five Leaves’ heroes are your heroes. It’s a safe space, down to the noticeboard of therapy hotlines and yoga classes.
Click here to visit the Five Leaves website
Have you got a favourite bookshop near you?
Sunday, 5 July 2015
I've been blogging more than you think.
I have a bad habit of neglecting to write 'for myself' when I'm working full-time, hence months of nothingness on here. But I DO write and - as I realised when I tried to pick just 10 12 examples from my work blog posts - I still really enjoy and take pride in it . Below are some of my YHA faves!
(I've also done some wee descriptions so that I can say that I've been writing about something other than hostelling, i.e. writing about writing about hostelling...)
The most scenic hiking trails in the UK
I describe a 183 mile walk as being "for beginners". I think the most miles I've walked is 7.
10 things to do in Liverpool this spring
Tracey Emin and (amazingly) The Beatles get mentioned. Internationally published, so proud!
Lights-off for Earth Hour 2015
It's not easy being Green - luckily the YHA are forward-thinking so it's eco-warrior time.
The Hosteller's Cookbook
I really wish that I could cooksome of these. I did help make the veggie biryani though, woo.
Top 10 mind-blowing novels for travellers
Science fiction, fantasy and pop culture references. This has my fingerprints all over it Holmes.
Bizarre & British: alternative places to stay in the UK
Not-so-subtly destroying the stereotype of hostels being purpose-built and grim. They're not.
Take the Classroom to the Great British Outdoors
Making education sound a lot more exciting than I remember it being when I was at school.
How to get a good night's sleep when travelling
Good tips that I consistently ignore; I am writing this like 5 minutes before I go to bed.
Battle of the Kindle vs Traditional paper books
Well I could hardly admit that I barely use my Kindle could I. Also, "BOOK SNIFFING".
The most beautiful National Parks the UK has to offer
Proving that England and Wales are absolutely stunning. I wish I'd taken those photos.
Why travelling Solo rocks and how to make the most of it
Follow the wisdom of someone who usually goes on holiday in the UK, with her parents.
The ever-changing Hostel of the Week page is also my doing, archived as blogs here.
I promise I will eventually get round to doing a proper update on ME (probably involving Matlock's antique shops and how difficult jogging is) but in the meantime check out my ramblings about the mountains, travelling and adventures that I never see. MOUNTAINS GANDALF.
Yes, I really need to follow my own advice and get out there. *bizarre mix of blatant self-promotion/self-deprecation ends*
(I've also done some wee descriptions so that I can say that I've been writing about something other than hostelling, i.e. writing about writing about hostelling...)
The most scenic hiking trails in the UK
I describe a 183 mile walk as being "for beginners". I think the most miles I've walked is 7.
10 things to do in Liverpool this spring
Tracey Emin and (amazingly) The Beatles get mentioned. Internationally published, so proud!
Lights-off for Earth Hour 2015
It's not easy being Green - luckily the YHA are forward-thinking so it's eco-warrior time.
The Hosteller's Cookbook
I really wish that I could cook
Top 10 mind-blowing novels for travellers
Science fiction, fantasy and pop culture references. This has my fingerprints all over it Holmes.
Bizarre & British: alternative places to stay in the UK
Not-so-subtly destroying the stereotype of hostels being purpose-built and grim. They're not.
Take the Classroom to the Great British Outdoors
Making education sound a lot more exciting than I remember it being when I was at school.
How to get a good night's sleep when travelling
Good tips that I consistently ignore; I am writing this like 5 minutes before I go to bed.
Battle of the Kindle vs Traditional paper books
Well I could hardly admit that I barely use my Kindle could I. Also, "BOOK SNIFFING".
The most beautiful National Parks the UK has to offer
Proving that England and Wales are absolutely stunning. I wish I'd taken those photos.
Why travelling Solo rocks and how to make the most of it
Follow the wisdom of someone who usually goes on holiday in the UK, with her parents.
The ever-changing Hostel of the Week page is also my doing, archived as blogs here.
I promise I will eventually get round to doing a proper update on ME (probably involving Matlock's antique shops and how difficult jogging is) but in the meantime check out my ramblings about the mountains, travelling and adventures that I never see. MOUNTAINS GANDALF.
Yes, I really need to follow my own advice and get out there. *bizarre mix of blatant self-promotion/self-deprecation ends*
Wednesday, 19 November 2014
Tennyson and The Lady of Shalott album art.
This is the cover for Dad’s latest album (he sets poetry to music), illustrating Tennyson’s tragic Shalott and her curse. It’s a girl stuck in tower, falls for hot knight with great hair, then inexplicably dies kind of story.
It’s come out a bit R. Crumb with all the crosshatching and luckily I had a medieval-style dress that I could pose in for reference. Dressing up as dead chicks makes my day.
And here is Alfred Lord Tennyson, surrounded by strange flowery things! I enjoy his glum Arthurian poems and his big influence on the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood.
Drew him in pencil for the sleeve of Dad’s CD and based his face on a portrait in a VERY old book!
Saturday, 13 September 2014
Promises to a new laptop (a love poem).
Oh laptop, thou art barely born.
Rejoice, you are now the lucky vessel of my neuroticism and creativity (yeah right).
I promise to overlook your sharp edges and fascinating ugliness (potential baby names: Rorschach, John Merrick). I was spoilt with my old Sony Vaio, it was a beautiful woman with gentle curves (sounding a bit gay here). But NO, you are a sleek monolith with no need for tawdry decor!
I promise to update you properly, protect you from virusy harm (sorry about this morning) and change your metaphorical nappy when needed (what?). I promise to install and master Photoshop, rather than just The Sims 2. I promise to upload my art and photography, rather than staying up to read rude fanfics. I promise to hunt for interesting work, rather than stalking people on the internet. I promise to use you for inspiration and personal development, rather than scrolling through amusing cat photos. I promise to stick up for your homely averageness when my boyfriend bullies you for not being fast or powerful enough (which he will). You're just about right for me.
In return, please keep my secrets safe and secure, so I don't end up in nude photo scandal shocker/blackmail hell. Not like I take any (sorry to disappoint). Here's to a fresh start and a few years snuggling up and slaving over the keyboard together.
Love from Natalie (a girl who writes for a living yet is appalling at poetry, and who hasn't owned a laptop since last year). *pats your wee laptop head*
Rejoice, you are now the lucky vessel of my neuroticism and creativity (yeah right).
I promise to overlook your sharp edges and fascinating ugliness (potential baby names: Rorschach, John Merrick). I was spoilt with my old Sony Vaio, it was a beautiful woman with gentle curves (sounding a bit gay here). But NO, you are a sleek monolith with no need for tawdry decor!
I promise to update you properly, protect you from virusy harm (sorry about this morning) and change your metaphorical nappy when needed (what?). I promise to install and master Photoshop, rather than just The Sims 2. I promise to upload my art and photography, rather than staying up to read rude fanfics. I promise to hunt for interesting work, rather than stalking people on the internet. I promise to use you for inspiration and personal development, rather than scrolling through amusing cat photos. I promise to stick up for your homely averageness when my boyfriend bullies you for not being fast or powerful enough (which he will). You're just about right for me.
In return, please keep my secrets safe and secure, so I don't end up in nude photo scandal shocker/blackmail hell. Not like I take any (sorry to disappoint). Here's to a fresh start and a few years snuggling up and slaving over the keyboard together.
Love from Natalie (a girl who writes for a living yet is appalling at poetry, and who hasn't owned a laptop since last year). *pats your wee laptop head*
Saturday, 14 September 2013
A Field in England, A Beach in Wales.
Or what I did this summer when I wasn't working heh.
(really, really appreciate my free time these days)
I went to Latitude festival with my favourite people, the highlights included...
It being so hot that my lip balm melted (I then used it).
Being nude and proud like Amanda Palmer in the showers.
Getting to the front for Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Hot Chip and Kraftwerk. Right on time.
Stalking Alan Moore, David Shrigley and Carol Anne Duffy.
Eddie Izzard, Dylan Moran, Richard Herring and Tim Key lulz. Everyone needs a good larf!
The flock of multicoloured sheep.
My 'cookery'.
Then we went to Wales for a week, the highlights included...
Swimming in the freezing sea with my lovely man.
Visiting all the castles. History is a story of humans being shitty to each other.
Reading Trainspotting and A Clockwork Orange like the cool kids we are.
Folly Farm (and zoo) which definitely isn't just for kids.
Not being at work/staying in bed all day.
Other people's cookery.
Everything.
I've also been on a couple of protests, written lots about beauty/babies for a household name and generally been too busy (one way or anuzzer) to blog on here.
I need to write and make time for myself more -- I'll try! :)
(really, really appreciate my free time these days)
I went to Latitude festival with my favourite people, the highlights included...
It being so hot that my lip balm melted (I then used it).
Being nude and proud like Amanda Palmer in the showers.
Getting to the front for Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Hot Chip and Kraftwerk. Right on time.
Stalking Alan Moore, David Shrigley and Carol Anne Duffy.
Eddie Izzard, Dylan Moran, Richard Herring and Tim Key lulz. Everyone needs a good larf!
The flock of multicoloured sheep.
My 'cookery'.
Then we went to Wales for a week, the highlights included...
Swimming in the freezing sea with my lovely man.
Visiting all the castles. History is a story of humans being shitty to each other.
Reading Trainspotting and A Clockwork Orange like the cool kids we are.
Folly Farm (and zoo) which definitely isn't just for kids.
Not being at work/staying in bed all day.
Other people's cookery.
Everything.
I've also been on a couple of protests, written lots about beauty/babies for a household name and generally been too busy (one way or anuzzer) to blog on here.
I need to write and make time for myself more -- I'll try! :)
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Books and writing and stuff.
Do I buy a Kindle? I literally can't fit many more books in my room, my shelves are bordering on ridiculous and 'Book Mountain' next to my bed has three peaks now.
I'd estimate that I have about a zillion books. But I NEED them all. They make me look way smarter than I actually am.
Kindles are very practical and I'd probably really benefit from one, but at the same time I can see myself moaning "oooh, it's just not the same" on my first digital purchase and then sniffling over a gorgeously battered second-hand copy that I'd found. I know, I'm such a cliche -- my lifestyle is like, totally analogue.
Currently reading Brave New World, which I've been looking to get my hands on for years. Dystopian novels are a personal fave (congratulations everyone for surviving the apocalypse by the way); I like a good reminder of how bad things could get/why we should be preventing them.
If I haven't told you IRL, which is unlikely as I've been telling everyone, I now work for Boots.com as a copywriter. Daisy from Spaced much.
Have a New Year's Eve wedding to attend too, should be lovely! So until my next blog post about books and writing and stuff (to be fair, all my blogging seems to fall into these categories), have a good 'un. In the meantime, here are Mum's wacky words for things...
Baldy-no-nose = Lord Voldemort
Cotton-wool Pringles = Make-up removal pads
I'd estimate that I have about a zillion books. But I NEED them all. They make me look way smarter than I actually am.
Kindles are very practical and I'd probably really benefit from one, but at the same time I can see myself moaning "oooh, it's just not the same" on my first digital purchase and then sniffling over a gorgeously battered second-hand copy that I'd found. I know, I'm such a cliche -- my lifestyle is like, totally analogue.
Currently reading Brave New World, which I've been looking to get my hands on for years. Dystopian novels are a personal fave (congratulations everyone for surviving the apocalypse by the way); I like a good reminder of how bad things could get/why we should be preventing them.
If I haven't told you IRL, which is unlikely as I've been telling everyone, I now work for Boots.com as a copywriter. Daisy from Spaced much.
Have a New Year's Eve wedding to attend too, should be lovely! So until my next blog post about books and writing and stuff (to be fair, all my blogging seems to fall into these categories), have a good 'un. In the meantime, here are Mum's wacky words for things...
Baldy-no-nose = Lord Voldemort
Cotton-wool Pringles = Make-up removal pads
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
From Russia with love.
Classic Russian literature, Tolstoyevsky, or wallowing in the misery of a poorly made decision for a thousand pages. Like that scene in The Young Ones of the couple huddling around the lamp to reminisce about better times, or trudging through freezing cold snow whilst draped in a bearskin rug.
Joe Wright's film of Anna Karenina was lovely to look at, in a twirly Baz Luhrmann sort of way. Granted I'm not a massive fan of Knightley'sacting pouting/frock modelling, but the theatre setting shenanigans were interesting. With about ten other adaptations, we didn't really need the same locations revisited -- it made it a memorable version. The film has a staged, stifling atmosphere (made all the more apparent when you actually go 'outside' the theatre, it's like a breath of fresh air), but it's a good experiment. Would rather like to give the book a try; obviously there's more depth to it than elaborate dance scenes and Princess Betsy's amazing wardrobe.
Also need to finish Crime and Punishment, which I started five years ago and still have a hundred pages left to read. It's not that I dislike the book, I think it's brilliant, I just can't stand reading about Raskolnikov's pompous, self-righteous antics; thinking because he's so clever he can bully, mistreat and erm, murder anyone around him. He just irritates me so much! And his poor shivering child of a girlfriend, oh god. Apparently he sees the error of his ways though; I'm probably going to eat my words in the last hundred pages.
I know bugger all about modern Russia (I haven't read The Communist Manifesto, but I've seen Fiddler on the Roof a couple of times), but I'm guessing that every other person isn't a Prince or Countess Somebody now. Anna would probably have gotten the same treatment for adultery though, if the whole Kristen Stewart lynch mob is anything to go by -- I know, I'm bang on topic for like JULY.
Parents have just ordered War and Peace on DVD too (which my mister found just as hard-going a read as C & P), so it's looking to be a very Russian winter. Fitting, because it's absolutely freezing.
P.S. What has Ang Lee done to Life of Pi, without the other 'animals' how will it end? Please not "heartwarmingly".
Joe Wright's film of Anna Karenina was lovely to look at, in a twirly Baz Luhrmann sort of way. Granted I'm not a massive fan of Knightley's
Ruth Wilson frock envy.
Also need to finish Crime and Punishment, which I started five years ago and still have a hundred pages left to read. It's not that I dislike the book, I think it's brilliant, I just can't stand reading about Raskolnikov's pompous, self-righteous antics; thinking because he's so clever he can bully, mistreat and erm, murder anyone around him. He just irritates me so much! And his poor shivering child of a girlfriend, oh god. Apparently he sees the error of his ways though; I'm probably going to eat my words in the last hundred pages.
Raskolnikov plus appendage, as interpreted by DeviantART.
I know bugger all about modern Russia (I haven't read The Communist Manifesto, but I've seen Fiddler on the Roof a couple of times), but I'm guessing that every other person isn't a Prince or Countess Somebody now. Anna would probably have gotten the same treatment for adultery though, if the whole Kristen Stewart lynch mob is anything to go by -- I know, I'm bang on topic for like JULY.
Parents have just ordered War and Peace on DVD too (which my mister found just as hard-going a read as C & P), so it's looking to be a very Russian winter. Fitting, because it's absolutely freezing.
P.S. What has Ang Lee done to Life of Pi, without the other 'animals' how will it end? Please not "heartwarmingly".
Monday, 20 August 2012
Album covers I've gone and done.
My dad’s been setting poems to folk music for years, here are some of the album sleeves I've done for him.
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Horrorlidays.
Just home from Ilfracombe, famously described by William Shatner as “laced with prostitution”.
No ladies of the night, but it’s got a fair share of strange. Like it’s fantastic museum; started by a genuine “collector” and full of weird carvings, drawers of massive beetles, and a few two-headed things in jars. Which is what a museum should be really; a place to give you nightmares, reeking of preservative.
Could be what inspired Damien Hirst’s decor (lots of pickled fishies) for his restaurant in the harbour? Who knows, maybe that museum played a part in building his formaldehyde and butterfly fixarion, would be cute to think so!
More horrible things included Chambercombe Manor, massively haunted (apparently), with its secret room where a skeleton was found walled up. A local sculpture park that I wouldn’t want to be left alone in, ever. And Watermouth Castle, which I still insist on going to even though it’s for children; I love the underground dungeons with all their terrifying old animatronics.
Might do a photoset, “things I saw making kids cry”.
Holiday reading was mostly Lovecraft, who’s great to read on the beach because you imagine ancient monsters rising from the sea, or that the fly who’s after your scone is a trapped occultist, trying to convey some secret message. The more I read, the more I realise how much horror owes to him.
Really in the mood to write some, or even just do some art or something, but where to start! It can be a very subjective genre, and ridiculous things spook me.
Anyway, it’s lovely to be home, I’ve missed my boy.
(I’m actually quite sappy at heart)
No ladies of the night, but it’s got a fair share of strange. Like it’s fantastic museum; started by a genuine “collector” and full of weird carvings, drawers of massive beetles, and a few two-headed things in jars. Which is what a museum should be really; a place to give you nightmares, reeking of preservative.
Could be what inspired Damien Hirst’s decor (lots of pickled fishies) for his restaurant in the harbour? Who knows, maybe that museum played a part in building his formaldehyde and butterfly fixarion, would be cute to think so!
More horrible things included Chambercombe Manor, massively haunted (apparently), with its secret room where a skeleton was found walled up. A local sculpture park that I wouldn’t want to be left alone in, ever. And Watermouth Castle, which I still insist on going to even though it’s for children; I love the underground dungeons with all their terrifying old animatronics.
Might do a photoset, “things I saw making kids cry”.
Holiday reading was mostly Lovecraft, who’s great to read on the beach because you imagine ancient monsters rising from the sea, or that the fly who’s after your scone is a trapped occultist, trying to convey some secret message. The more I read, the more I realise how much horror owes to him.
Really in the mood to write some, or even just do some art or something, but where to start! It can be a very subjective genre, and ridiculous things spook me.
Anyway, it’s lovely to be home, I’ve missed my boy.
(I’m actually quite sappy at heart)
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
What's that sexeh book you're reading?
I've come a long way baby, from being caught as a child red-faced and flustered with my nose in a Mills & Boon novel.
Whether or not it's a pile of crap, Fifty Shades of Grey may do for Waterstones' erotica section what Twilight did for 'Teen Paranormal Romance'. No book club would have a serious discussion about "The Millionaire's Spanky Slave", but evidently an ambiguous title/cover can work wonders.
Looks like a real book. Will this dispel any lingering stereotypes of dirty old men in dirty old macs? Has this woefully underrepresented genre reached a literary pinnacle?
"Why don't you like to be touched" Ana whispered, staring up into soft grey eyes.
"Because I'm fifty shades of fucked-up, Anastasia"
And more, brilliantly illustrated with stock photos.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/the-15-bestworst-lines-from-erotic-bestseller-fif
Well this is quite not the sexual revolution I was hoping for. More like Mills & Boon doing bondage for beginners. Am I supposed to be laughing?! Fook, I can't put it better than this Amazon review...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R53SXA5IQFRKH/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0099579936&nodeID=266239&store=books
But never mind, here are six sexeh book examples that are better written/more unintentionally hilarious/more imaginatively shocking than Fifty Shades of Rubbish and Gay.
Laurell K. Hamilton's 'Merry Gentry' series
Merry is a fairy princess with a harem of multicoloured bodyguards (each with a two page description of their magical hair/eye/pube colour). Did I mention she's also a PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR? Sprouting wings, glowing, and literally "making the earth move" is a regular sexual occurrence.
D. H. Lawrence's 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'
Obviously not as shocking as it must have been (it got banned!), the descriptions are really quite beautiful, and there's SOUL in there. Scenes that actually touch on how tender, integral and amazing having sex is, mentally and physically. The gardener has a hawt working class accent too. Thee and thar and thysen.
ALAN FREAKIN' MOORE'S 'Lost Girls'
If you're easily offended, Lost Girls may not be for you. Everyone and everything gets a look in, the (very) young, the old, even a friendly horse gets a go. Gorgeously drawn in storybook brights, you'll recognise all your favourite characters from childhood in a variety of familiar situations.
Toshio Maeda's 'Adventure Kid'
Ever wanted to see a what it looks like inside a Japanese schoolgirl, while she's being "tentacled" by some weird creature from another dimension? If not, you probably shouldn't read any of Maeda's manga. Diagrams, X-Ray vision and a bizarre technical accuracy makes for some fairly odd reading.
Syra Bond's 'Trogan Slaves'
Fifty Shades wasn't kinky enough for you? How about something to make it seem like missionary with the lights off. This is just plain unpleasant to read, one of those hardcore S & M books that degrades it's characters so much you want to cry. Best to read out loud as a joke, to dull how scary it is.
Anais Nin's 'Little Birds'
Lent to me by my chum Camille, a very well written collection of short erotic stories. You feel like you're reading A Book with this, and the writing is so lovely it's like poetry. The plots are just strange enough to be imaginative and edgy, rather than a creepy wankathon, or an Anne Summers cliche-fest.
Not forgetting all that "M" rated fanfiction on the web; there's nothing better than reading about character A doing it with character B from your most beloved television series/book/video game (part of the appeal of Lost Girls I guess). If you want to make new friends, I'd suggest announcing your love of Snarry in a public place, the effect is surprising.
Maybe I should do a recommendation list just for fanfics. Y'know, if I wasn't geeky enough.
I haven't written that bestseller yet, but I'm still enjoying the freelance copywriting! There's always my plan of trying out to become a Mills & Boon writer someday (if you can't beat them join them)...
Currently reading this hot stuff.
Whether or not it's a pile of crap, Fifty Shades of Grey may do for Waterstones' erotica section what Twilight did for 'Teen Paranormal Romance'. No book club would have a serious discussion about "The Millionaire's Spanky Slave", but evidently an ambiguous title/cover can work wonders.
Looks like a real book. Will this dispel any lingering stereotypes of dirty old men in dirty old macs? Has this woefully underrepresented genre reached a literary pinnacle?
"Why don't you like to be touched" Ana whispered, staring up into soft grey eyes.
"Because I'm fifty shades of fucked-up, Anastasia"
And more, brilliantly illustrated with stock photos.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/the-15-bestworst-lines-from-erotic-bestseller-fif
Well this is quite not the sexual revolution I was hoping for. More like Mills & Boon doing bondage for beginners. Am I supposed to be laughing?! Fook, I can't put it better than this Amazon review...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R53SXA5IQFRKH/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0099579936&nodeID=266239&store=books
But never mind, here are six sexeh book examples that are better written/more unintentionally hilarious/more imaginatively shocking than Fifty Shades of Rubbish and Gay.
Horrible.
Merry is a fairy princess with a harem of multicoloured bodyguards (each with a two page description of their magical hair/eye/pube colour). Did I mention she's also a PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR? Sprouting wings, glowing, and literally "making the earth move" is a regular sexual occurrence.
D. H. Lawrence's 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'
Obviously not as shocking as it must have been (it got banned!), the descriptions are really quite beautiful, and there's SOUL in there. Scenes that actually touch on how tender, integral and amazing having sex is, mentally and physically. The gardener has a hawt working class accent too. Thee and thar and thysen.
If you're easily offended, Lost Girls may not be for you. Everyone and everything gets a look in, the (very) young, the old, even a friendly horse gets a go. Gorgeously drawn in storybook brights, you'll recognise all your favourite characters from childhood in a variety of familiar situations.
"AN ENGAGING AND WELL-DRAWN STORY."
Ever wanted to see a what it looks like inside a Japanese schoolgirl, while she's being "tentacled" by some weird creature from another dimension? If not, you probably shouldn't read any of Maeda's manga. Diagrams, X-Ray vision and a bizarre technical accuracy makes for some fairly odd reading.
Syra Bond's 'Trogan Slaves'
Fifty Shades wasn't kinky enough for you? How about something to make it seem like missionary with the lights off. This is just plain unpleasant to read, one of those hardcore S & M books that degrades it's characters so much you want to cry. Best to read out loud as a joke, to dull how scary it is.
Anais Nin's 'Little Birds'
Lent to me by my chum Camille, a very well written collection of short erotic stories. You feel like you're reading A Book with this, and the writing is so lovely it's like poetry. The plots are just strange enough to be imaginative and edgy, rather than a creepy wankathon, or an Anne Summers cliche-fest.
Not forgetting all that "M" rated fanfiction on the web; there's nothing better than reading about character A doing it with character B from your most beloved television series/book/video game (part of the appeal of Lost Girls I guess). If you want to make new friends, I'd suggest announcing your love of Snarry in a public place, the effect is surprising.
Maybe I should do a recommendation list just for fanfics. Y'know, if I wasn't geeky enough.
I haven't written that bestseller yet, but I'm still enjoying the freelance copywriting! There's always my plan of trying out to become a Mills & Boon writer someday (if you can't beat them join them)...
Currently reading this hot stuff.
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
What the Dickens.
Picnic full of babes. The BBC does Charles Dickens' "Our Mutual Friend", back in 1998.
I love this. Actually LOVE it. Watching it again with my rents, talking all the way through about Anna Friel's beautiful dresses and how Steven Mackintosh is a dead ringer for Gormenghast's Steerpike.
Oh period dramas, I love you. Pride and Prejudice, Middlemarch, Barchester Chronicles, oh yeah, yeeeah y'all hear how cool my televisual preferences are?! It's Charles Dickens' 200th birthday today actually, happy birthday you big whorehouse frequenter.
Like all Dickens, Mutual Friend is full of the contrast between rich and poor, characters with fitting names (good job he never wrote a murder mystery eh - Mr Murderer), obsessive love that borders on stalking and that nasty period drama cough people always seemed to die of. But this is probs my fave screen adaptation of his books, apart from "Muppet Christmas Carol" perhaps.
Actually reading him however is HARD TIMES. Ahuh huh.
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