Your winter newsletter.

Hello out there! A wee bit chilly isn't it. I haven’t updated this properly in a while, so here’s a thrilling lowdown on what I've been up to…

In October I went to Whitby with my fella, to see how the real goths celebrate Halloween. I still live in hope that one day, I’ll move there and live in nautical/Bram Stoker bliss.

In early November, I tried my hand at door-to-door sales. Needless to say, I was shite — I’m much more suited to typing from the safety of my bedroom.

Earlier this week, we buried our family cat of 15 years. Missing him terribly, I’ll have to post some photographs on here; he was beautiful.

In the last couple of days, I’ve been worrying (more than usual) about the direction our government seems to be headed. Universal Jobmatch is actually Orwellian.

Adam Curtis’ documentaries are also a huge eye-opener.

Would very much like to stop being underemployed (I love my copywriting, but I’m so dreadfully POOR), and have a nice little home of my own with ample bookshelves/useless antiques/a vast collection of cats.

Buuut, I am going to see Alanis Morissette tomorrow night! FOR FREE.

Spectacular news. Thank you Jake for having access to free tickets (and for making the last 6 months the best ever), thank you India, thank you terror, thank you disillusionment, thank you frailty, etc…

P.S. I still haven’t finished Crime and Punishment. Fail.

"Magic Roundabout" collages.

A group project at uni. We’d decided to make an advertising campaign for an art festival on Nottingham’s BBC roundabout. 

Above are some of the guests who would've turned up.

These were the camping and leisure facilities available.

Aaand, I GO ON HOLIDAY TOMORROW! I’d say goodbye, but I’ll be taking my laptop with me because I’m a money-grabbing workaholic.

The fish tank of my dreams.

I have this fantasy of putting together a fish tank based on evolution. It wouldn't actually have any proper fish in it and would mostly be rocks and stuff, mimicking the moment marine life first squelched onto dry land.

It's unlikely you can keep these all together (which is why this is always going to remain a fantasy) but I would firstly have some mudskippers, which are amazing and just look like a joke animal with little fins that are gradually evolving into legs. They're amphibious, so the fish tank would have both an underwater bit and a sort of 'shore' to keep them all happy.

Who could NOT want some of these? (image wetlandpark.com)

And then in the watery bit, some axolotls. They have these beautiful gills around their heads and are able to actually metamorphose before your very eyes when dipped in "salamander goo" (I only know this from the rathergood.com song, but when are they ever wrong). Although actually doing this reduces their lifespan and it's probably the equivalent of injecting a human with hormones until they grow an extra head or something; like I say, it's just a fantasy!

Fffff, little axolotl face, so cute. (image uglorable.com)

And then to top it off, some minuscule toads. Just because, just look at them. Just, uh. I would name them all after famous toads. That'll just be 'Mr Toad' then. Hmm. And the toads could ride the mud skippers like horses... They do actually have some of these at Trowell garden centre aquatics.

Hai. (image nycanimalrights.com)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah. I'm easily pleased. And all my fave jewelry is from the Sea Life Centre. Wouldn't it be great though!