Things you learn from a decade of reading fanfiction.

1. Professor Snape is not a greasy, bad-tempered bastard with a big nose. He is actually "smouldering, sex on legs" and is in some kind of S & M relationship with Harry Potter.

2. Rorschach from Watchmen is not a mental, asexual sociopath. He "just wants to be loved". By Nite Owl. Because he just needs someone lovely to love him and obviously Nite Owl feels the same way but uses Silk Spectre as cover.

3. And I recently (just casually researching of course) discovered a trend in Twin Peaks fiction for Albert and Dale, which actually sort of makes sense, y'know with his instant hatred of Harry and...

I know! I'M A MASSIVE GEEK!

The other day I read something online about how the internet nurtures 'abnormalities' into subcultures. This made me feel a little uneasy, what a boring world it would be if everyone was 'normal'! Obviously I'm not advocating anything harmful/violent/you know what I mean, but I had the feeling this comment applied to anything outside the box of 'sensible' mainstream culture. Many subcultures that could be considered 'abnormal' have developed fine without the internet, but I guess the web does allow a degree of anonymity to express things you might not elsewhere...

FOR EXAMPLE! So far I have found a disturbing lack of Tintin fics online, you'd think there would be more!? And I'll just leave this here...that I found um...by typing 'Tintin slash' into Google by complete accident.

Heh. Getting quite fond of it to be honest (I watch the cartoon series sometimes before I go to bed) and what I thought was a boring/mildly racist comic strip is really rather good; it makes you want to go travelling, have adventures and stuff! "Actually I don't smoke." Oh Tintin you babe.

I want Tintin's job and the PHWOAR HORSE.

The very beautiful and sensitive new film; War Horse. Not a romance, or a bromance, but a whoooa-mance!

Come on, now that is what I call a passionate stare... I'm sorry. The trailer was supposed to make me cry wasn't it. Why can't I watch anything without somehow turning it into bizarre smut?

Take 'The Adventures of Tintin' for example!

I don't know if I was just in a funny mood or if I'm going a bit strange, but on a second viewing it seemed a rather homoerotic film. Oh dear. Aaand I'm fifteen again. Fanfiction.com beckons...

It's also very confusing. How old is Tintin even supposed to be? One minute he looks "abaht twelv" and basically dresses like a schoolboy, the next minute he has his own flat, his own dog, buys antiques, carries a gun and can fly a plane. WHAAAT. I guess I just want to know if he's jailbait or not (for goodness sake calm down, he's not even REAL).

And what is Tintin's job exactly? He just noses into other people's lives and gets into scrapes, rather like the Famous Five. I want to be a journalist/reporter/thing if it's anything like that! Maybe I should just get a job writing bad fanfiction, if such a career option exists.

Do I even have a job yet? I have an interview next week actually. I'm excited.