Land of no hope and sorry.

The Jubilee's been over nearly a month, and we're shite at football. Really, you can take the flags down now!

(wouldn't be surpirsed if my BNP-voting village kept them up for the wrong reasons anyway)

Community spirit seems to mean pretending it's the 50s and baking a cake for the neighbours you never speak to, or thumping your chest at some kind of sporting event. Evidently the only way to bring our nation together is by wearing silly hats, and getting together in a pub to slag off other countries.

Although for Eurovision, everyone in my local pub bizarrely decided they were Swedish for the night, right down to the flags. It was like we didn't even come third from last because everyone hates us!

Does anybody care about the Olympics either? There's a decidedly "meh" reaction to it all; billions being spent on something we'll never win at, when everyone's feeling so poor. Maybe I just don't get it, I was always crap at P.E. afterall.

Humming "imagine there's no countries" when I should be grunting and waving an England flag.