Land of no hope and sorry.

The Jubilee's been over nearly a month, and we're shite at football. Really, you can take the flags down now!

(wouldn't be surpirsed if my BNP-voting village kept them up for the wrong reasons anyway)

Community spirit seems to mean pretending it's the 50s and baking a cake for the neighbours you never speak to, or thumping your chest at some kind of sporting event. Evidently the only way to bring our nation together is by wearing silly hats, and getting together in a pub to slag off other countries.

Although for Eurovision, everyone in my local pub bizarrely decided they were Swedish for the night, right down to the flags. It was like we didn't even come third from last because everyone hates us!

Does anybody care about the Olympics either? There's a decidedly "meh" reaction to it all; billions being spent on something we'll never win at, when everyone's feeling so poor. Maybe I just don't get it, I was always crap at P.E. afterall.

Humming "imagine there's no countries" when I should be grunting and waving an England flag.

Silence of the lambs, and an ART REVIEW!?

Not updating in nearly two months? Shameful.

My “blogging” has become rather pitiful recently (wasn’t it always so?) due to a) being too busy, b) forgetting I have a blog, and c) not wanting to bore cyberspace with endless smug entries that are only of interest to pervs.

However, I have managed to bitch about this year's Fine Art degree show on Tumblr:

"Big slabs of kitsch bathroom nothingness, washed down with dollops of shameless nostalgia and bad taste. Mmm my favourite. Does it make me want to do art again? Maybe."

And I wrote this self-explanatory teenage gem:

"Yes, I’d be sick of my Smug McGee antics too. I guess some people just forget what it’s like (I know I had). His name’s Jake. He’s distracting."

D'aww! All that and more.

But anyway, I’ll try to update more often from now on, promise! It’s good to blog. I don’t even know who I’m apologising to. God?

Love and public displays of affection, The Mills.

P.S. PROMETHEUS!

Sweet charity, a muzak-al.

I’ve never decorated a shop window mannequin before, but I think I did a pretty good job today! It looked a bit like a boy/a member of B*Witched, wearing TWO different kinds of denim. I know about the denim rule, but my mannequin breaks all the rules of fashion.

Due to royalties, the charity shop I volunteer at now only plays a selection of 5 wrist-slittingly bad CDs. They’re actually awful. Like someone dropped a synthesiser down a well, and it’s clanging around repeatedly against the sides trying to escape.

The song titles are also imaginative; such as “Rain”, “Mountain Rain” and “Snow”. I’m thankful I don’t have a job composing this stuff, how do they sleep at night.

(this is rich coming from someone who thinks up “amusing” puns for a living)

Boots has a strange choice of background music too, listen and you’ll hear a strange repeating melancholy tinkle. It’s a bit depressing really, which isn’t brilliant as a lot of people go there to buy medicine and will probably come out thinking they will die.

It took me a sec before I realised why May the fourthhh is Star Wars day.

Scarborough disposables.

Even more Scarborough, this time in the form of last year’s disposable camera offerings. I'd really like one of those scooters someday!

"Space, the final frontier."

Me and my parents are currently trekking (oh GOD) through the second series of Star Trek: The Next Generation. "Elementary, dear Data" involves the crew hanging out with Professor Moriarty on a Sherlock Holmes themed holodeck. Moriarty realises he isn't actually real; getting all sad and deciding not to cause havoc with his weird steampunk machine -- and it's crumpets all round. The secrets of space are so much clearer to me now.

Oh what is happening. I still get misty-eyed and nostalgic about Trek, probably from when I watched it as a child and thought the painted polystyrene was real rock. Galaxy Quest has it bang on; it's a lot dafter than I remember! There's a Robin Hood one I believe.

Also, at junior school, our maths teacher used to play us the theme tune as we were getting ready for class, and we'd sing "Welcome to Numeracy Hour, Planet Pythagoras here we come, dun dun dun dun!". I don't know if this was actually in the curriculum, (or if it was just something the top set did, maybe the bottom set had Red Dwarf, JOKE), but I hope they still do it because it made me loathe maths less.

Continuing the space theme...

Snippet of 'A Trip to the Moon', a short film from 1902, hand-coloured and with music by AIR.

Ecstatic about Cabin.

I think The Cabin in the Woods is my new favourite film. It left me gaping in awe and joy, mouthing “YES” a lot — which is always a good sign! Not having watched the trailer, or sneaked online and ruined it for myself like I normally do, I was expecting an average shitty teen horror flick. How wrong I was! I can’t do justice to the amount of chaos and awesome that was unleashed. I’d have to ruin the twisty turny plot (think Evil Dead meets The Truman Show) for a decent review, so just go see it won’t ya?

“ANGRY MOLESTING TREE”

The film adaptation of Irvine Welsh’s Ecstacy is doing pretty abysmally in the film review department, which is a shame; I really liked the book. To be fair though, they chose the most boring novella in it; the one that’s a bit like Trainspotting but not quite as good (which is how the film’s being hailed incidentally), instead of the funny and shocking one with necrophilia and bits of period drama, or the brutal and shocking one with disability and all the gruesome violence. More screen-friendly I guess, and subtle? Or just crap? Would still like to see it and make up my own mind..

Danny Boyle must be so happy about this.

I’m so tempted to buy Cabin’s visual companion for more concept art, monsters and Joss Whedon times. Beneath my quiet exterior there seems to lie a raging appetite for destruction, oh well.

Scarborough castle, graves, dolls...

Clock Cafe

Meanwhile, in Whitby.

Scarborough Castle

Lovely grave (think it’s Victorian, those death-sessed romantics). Her husband was buried in the same grave a while after, Woman in Black much. I know, I take the happiest holiday photos.

Falling in love with "Petronius" the Roman soldier, on the castle audio guide.